This article was published 12 years ago. I'm technically a new person now and my views represented here are probably long outdated.
The title of this post is a bit of a misnomer. You’re never not special. But too often we feel that we are.
We’ve been conditioned in this western society of external materialism that if we’re not getting the right feedback, it’s a reflection of our self-worth. This is the biggest bag of malarkey ever to be accepted by our species.
Despite being a society that claims to support individuality, it is very quick to criticise the people that don’t fit the mould, whether those people are not good at academics, sports or have different views or ideas on how things are done. The interesting bit is if anybody ever succeeds in accumulating wealth through their difference, it’s suddenly seen as not only okay but a fantastic characteristic.
This is important to note.
Great people throughout our history have become great because of their difference, their non-accepted specialness, not in spite of it.
Through conditioning, our ego-selves are like lab rats. We are very predictable beings. Say nice things, compliment our looks, our hair, or give us positive feedback on our actions and we feel good, we thrive. Do the opposite and we crumble.
Our self-worth takes a severe knock every time people don’t respond to us in the way we want, or we’re having an off day, or if people are purposefully providing negative feedback. The truth is you’re special regardless of what is happening externally.
We need to re-learn a basic truth. Who we are, our specialness, is not based on what we own, who we know, or how we act. So long as we’re content internally, so long as we’re following our heart, keeping true to ourselves, we need never please the outside world. The people that fill our history books and headline our talkshows are often the ones that didn’t pretend to fit the mould.
“You can’t please everybody, so you may as well please yourself.”
I remember hearing these lyrics many years ago. I couldn’t tell you the name of the song nor who sang it. It doesn’t matter. The song and artist remain special in their own right, regardless.
And so do you. Always remember that.