I feel like I may have written on this topic before but I couldn’t find it so here we go again.
This is something that comes up for me a fair amount. I get very lost in my own processes and needs and desires and life that I sometimes forget that everybody is on their own journey. A journey that doesn’t always include me.
It’s a tough pill to swallow with the people you care about. But it does put things into perspective and gives us reason to be more gentle with the people around us, whether they are close or not, friends or strangers.
We all have desires and worries and a life to live and design. And often it’s hard enough dealing with our own crap before we can be there for anyone else. And, on the flip side, realising that our loved ones are all dealing with their stuff in what way they can, it’s a bit easier to find perspective and compassion. Perhaps not always as easy done as said, but once we become aware of this fact and make a conscious effort to be present for our loved ones when they need us, putting our own stuff aside, we allow ourselves to be better people little by little.
Being compassionate allows us to not take things as personal, understanding that the people have their bad days as well. How we deal with this on a case by case basis may differ. For me, for the people I care about, I’ve chosen to be more gentle, taming my temper as best I can. Often this entails me silent repeating “be gentle, be gentle” in my head while my anger or frustration fades 😛
For those people who do not mean much to me, I consciously choose not to get sucked into their dramas, extracting myself from their presence as quickly and as best I can. All of this is a process, and the more we do it, the more habitual it becomes. Choosing to not be frustrated is, in my opinion, a better option that losing your cool and flaring unnecessarily. And can make for more intimate relationships, too 😉