In the game of relationships, everybody is turned off by something or the other. It may be something small like a protruding tooth or something big like an affinity of bathing with dead animals. Either way there’s usually a “but” following the “he’s great” description. Three of my major turnoffs were in my face recently and I took notice.
This isn’t even just a turnoff from a potential romantic partner but even with new people who could turn into friends. Realising a particular habit of a person doesn’t always mean I will never be friends with that person, but it’s a very knee-jerk reaction that I get and impulsively want to remove myself from the person’s presence. What said person has to offer over and above these traits, however, may still win me over 😛
The first one is church. Or any affliction with religion. Or even an affection for religion. This has nothing to do with a connection to Spirit or God or even the Universe if you want to call it that. It’s the need to regularly go to a particular place of worship, like a church or temple or mosque or whatever. There’s a subtle but noticeable difference in the way people speak and act when they’re indoctrinated into any particular religion or cult-like group. And the moment that trait is revealed, my connection to them immediately and automatically shuts down.
The second one that I’ve recognised is marriage. I automatically judge folk that have been or have any desire to marry. It’s not really a valid judgement since I’m a firm supporter of love relationships and demonstrating a some level of commitment to your romantic partner, whatever that demonstration may be. Yet the actual marriage act just turns my stomach.
Thirdly, the issue of smoking cigarettes. I have a strong repulsion to anybody who smokes. Even if it’s an irregular or social activity, knowing that somebody smokes also shuts me off from them.
These are the main ones. I’m also generally turned off by any sort of restrictive behaviour or belief.
Yet, all of these become backseat issues once I get to know the person in depth. I may still harbour some judgements but the ability to connect with her or him is easier than when we may have just met. When the knee-jerks occurred in the past week, I was rather interested to observe my internal thoughts and behaviours. I’d be interested in learning what turns other people off and how many have the same reservations as myself.