It took time to accept that not everybody, myself included in certain instances, truly wants the freedom they may claim to desire. How can that be? Why would we say we want something when we don’t?
There are a few answers to that. Firstly, because of the layers of unconscious programs that drive us, what we think we want may contradict what we expect for ourselves. There are numerous cases where people sabotage their success because they cannot accept that success.
There could be any one of a thousand reasons why we sabotage ourselves. Low self-worth, self-doubt and belief in what is possible are generally the chief culprits. But, at a deeper level, there could be any number of programs we’ve unconsciously accepted. Programs that have been inherited from parents, family and authority figures. Programs that sit so ingrained in our minds that we don’t even know they exist.
I have been going through a low emotional space these past weeks. Last week I was unable to do anything productive and so took the days off to spend some quality me-time. Two books showed up as I sought ways to cheer myself up. The first that I read was one of Deepak Chopra’s fiction works, Why is God Laughing? (The other book was Yes Man by Danny Wallace, which I’ll speak on another day.)
It tells the story of a successful stand-up comedian faced with mortality when his father dies of a heart attack. Through this tragedy, and the help of an unlikely mentor, he is able to take life much less seriously than he once did. Where he once hid his insecurities behind the comedy routines, he was able to free himself from feeling judged and fearful.
Which brings me to another reason for people not wanting freedom.
Once achieved, things are never the same.
We get very addicted to the way things are. Our friends and family know us as a particular person, we do things in a particular way, we react in predictable ways. Whenever we deviate from the pattern, our friends feel threatened. They often feel like they’re losing the person they care about. You may feel the same way.
I will agree. Freedom is scary. We are accustomed to the boundaries that keep us feeling safe. To the people that relate to our current persona. If we change, our entire world changes, the people change, the situations change. We react in different ways or don’t react at all. What would your friends say?
For this reason, there are many who are content to remain as they are. This isn’t a judgment on those types of people. We are all free to choose as we wish to be. That’s our ultimate freedom. It was just something that took me time to accept. I’d come to think that everyone else felt the same way as I did. Seeing more and more people feeling otherwise has caused me to keep myself back.
You see, I am addicted to the way things are. I am addicted to the attention of my friends. What would happen to me if they disappeared? If they could no longer relate to me?
Well, truth be told, life will go on. No matter what things will always change. I will always change. I always have. And I’ve watched many people come in and out of my life. That doesn’t make the journey easier, of course. It’s just a reminder to not hold on too tightly and to allow myself to be more regardless. And allow those content with their current lot to be.