Totally in keeping with yesterday’s post, today I received this message from the Universe:

Not what you should do, Jai, but what you want to do; let this be your guiding light, forevermore.

the Universe

In all honesty, this has indeed been my guiding light through most of my post-school life. It is an attitude that has gained me many amazing friends and equally amazing adventures. It has also brought to me a world of woe and struggle, because there appear to be certain things that should be done in order to just survive in this world and society.

So, while the sentiment does resonate strongly with me, my older and (hopefully) more mature self is not in full agreement. I would love to just do what I want to do, following my inner guide of heart and gut and any other internal organ that wishes to share its desire, yet, from experience, I know that to do this tends to cause things to go pear-shaped in certain areas of my life.

I realise that it is about trusting in myself and in Spirit’s / the Universe’s support of my dreams and desires, and, as stated, I’ve certainly experienced miracles happen when I’ve been able to let go, and follow the less-travelled, more exciting paths that have been presented to me. Right now, I’m just in a down space, untrusting, and stressed. This space is what led me to begin this Project. Through this process I would love to return to that more excitable, younger, more innocent person that undertook the more adventurous life. Just this time, I need to find the balance so that, once the adventure is over, I don’t find myself having to rebuild my life again.

Doing what I want is easy. Doing what I should, that’s the challenge. I don’t know exactly what I should be doing. The rules applied by society and elders don’t feel right. They hold certain rewards granted, especially when it comes to being able to pay rent, but they don’t make me happy. The Universe’s note says, in essence, go with your heart. Ignore the should’s. That, theoretically, is the path to happiness. Where’s the balance? If anyone knows, please enlighten me.