I’m at the end of the third week of Project Me! Woot!
What can I say has come of this mission of self-indulgence? Well, apart from a lot of self-pity, I have also been forced to be aware of how much I wallow, how much support I actually have in my life, how much I have actually achieved despite my general thoughts to the contrary, and, in general, what I still need to work on.
Today, hanging out with Veronique, going through her newly acquired Louise Hay book, I, in jest, stated that I should be more better. With only a little bit of prodding, we got to see how much that simple statement ruled my thoughts. I still think that I’m not good enough and that I need to be a better version of me.
This comes down to a lot of self-worth issues, self-criticism, and not being fully authentic. In general, I am very true to myself. In terms of the people I hang out with, the work that I’ve pursued and the activities I engage in, I’m more authentic than most I would say. Yet, I’m not fully there. I am still holding back, scared of letting my full light shine, still scared of being rejected, a fear that has held sway over me from childhood. It was certainly an interesting insight and my current focus of, well, evolution 🙂
I subsequently came across this video that I think ties in well with this idea of authenticity. Enjoy.
“I love nothing more than a maniac, especially when that maniac decides to go fully rogue at a ballet recital in front of an audience of adoring parents, especially especially when that maniac is an adorable pre-schooler who I can only hope will one day be the model citizen for my own child.”