Life is a joke. We are the players of a performance, playing our respective roles, filling in our piece of the story, together weaving a tapestry of experience that will, one day, be not even a memory. Whoever created us is continually amused, laughing at our antics. And life, regardless of what we do, how we feel, whether we perceivably win or lose, carries on, drifting steadily to that moment when it no longer exists.

And still, despite its impermanence and frivolity, we take it far too seriously. This struck me while I danced and misbehaved at a party yesternight. Not that people were being overly serious at this party. Quite the contrary, most of the revellers were having a ball of a time, dancing wildly and without care, grinding and making out with fresh strangers, laughing, chatting, getting flogged and groped. Standard fare really 😀

I was just aware of how much we’re not in that relatively carefree mode. Perhaps I shouldn’t overly generalise. Specifically, I realised how much I am not in that space. In fact, even amid all this debaucherous revelry, I was still getting up in my head, overly thinking unnecessary thoughts, letting my seriousity run rampant. To what end? Well, to know end, really. It’s just automatic mental activity, questioning myself and my actions instead of just living.

Right now, for me, it is about being aware. Particularly because this over-thought is counterproductive to me being fully authentic, which is my current guiding light. Being more me is hindered by my mind questioning my me-ness. Thinking things through is one thing, being aware of how one engages and acts in relationship to the people and situations around one is important. The lack of existing in a vacuum does warrant a certain level of respect for our fellow beings, so long as it’s not excessively detrimental to our core. Unfortunately, there’s no defined line. At least, not one that can be mentally acknowledged. You need to pay attention to your intuition, your heart, so to speak, and this means shutting down the head for a bit. The mental rules do not apply exclusively. It’s a balancing act between engaging the playfulness of one’s heart which takes us on adventures we would miss if we relied solely on the data and musings of the head.

This weekend I was in my head a lot, too many serious internal conversations overlaying my general application of just having fun. I will add that I did not stop having fun, just less of it, and there was far too much analysis! I get that there’s a shift happening internally and my head is trying to make sense of it but sometimes you just got to let go and go with it. So, here’s me, ranting instead 😛

Righty ho. Keyboard down. Going with it.